Why leading people is so difficult…
If you’re a new manager, or taking on people management duties for the first time, you’ve likely already asked yourself “Why is this so hard?”
Leading people is difficult, there’s no sugarcoating it. In fact, it’s one of the most complex roles in any organisation. You’re not just managing tasks, you’re managing humans. And have you seen how many rules HR has? That’s because people are an organisation’s most unpredictable risk! But knowing HR policy is one thing, having to do the managing? That comes with its own unpredictability, stubborn challenges and a bucketload of emotion that you’re likely navigating right now.
You’re in the middle (literally)
One of the hardest parts of middle management is literally being stuck in the middle. You’re expected to translate senior leadership’s vision into tangible action, be across all the strategic documents, HR rules, team planning, performance management, work-load management, budgeting, sales, customer experience, and manage the impacts of new legislation (IR, safety, industry) as it’s introduced. You’re managing up, down, and sideways - all at once. Add to that pressures on budget and FTE that means administrative support is being reduced. That’s not a job that just anyone can do.
People aren’t problems to solve
You likely have been promoted because you’re great at your job. You could be an SME, a technical expert, or you were an absolute gun at solving problems and delivering your projects on-time and on-budget. But people aren’t spreadsheets, or a broken IT system. They’re complex. They - like you - can bring insecurities, personal stress, unspoken expectations, and sometimes even conflict into the workplace. Leading people means learning to navigate all of that while still delivering results.
People are both your greatest opportunity to deliver, and your greatest challenge.
Imposter syndrome is rife
Reducing the exciting work that made you a manager and taking on new people duties can be confronting and make you feel like a newbie all over again. Many new managers struggle with imposter syndrome - the constant companion that tells you that you’re not cut out for this, or that someone is going to discover - sooner or later - that you don’t have all the answers. The truth? No one has all the answers. The best leaders stay curious, ask questions, and create psychologically safe environments for their team members by admitting that they are still learning. Progress is far better than perfection, and people are more forgiving that you think. You’re in your role because a number of people believe you’re ready, even if you still needing convincing.
The emotional labour is real
Leadership requires emotional energy. You might need to deliver hard feedback, support someone through a personal crisis, advocate a leadership directive you don’t agree with, and remain calm when tensions rise. When things go right the kudos goes to your team member who stepped up. And when it goes wrong it sits squarely with you. That emotional toll isn’t always recognised or rewarded, but it’s real and exhausting. The more you try to carry it alone, the harder and heavier it gets.
So what can you do?
Start by acknowledging it’s hard, and no one gets everything perfect the first time they do it. Seek out support: a coach, a mentor (see my blog about the differences in these roles), your network, or a training program can give you a safe place to unpack what’s really going on. Work on your emotional regulation and communication skills, and remember - you’re allowed to lead while you’re still learning.
Leading people is hard because it matters. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about showing up with curiosity, courage, empathy, and a growth mindset. And if you’re reading this blog, then you’re already on the right path.
Contact me for a chat about the challenges of people management, and how I might be able to help you navigate them.
