The biggest barrier to success
When I work with people there’s one word that comes up more than any other: fear. It’s the thing that stops us from taking action to create positive change. It’s the thing that keeps us stuck more than anything else. According to Seek’s recent ‘Evolving Working Life’ report, it’s also the number one thing that’s preventing the more than 50% of Australian workers who regret their career path - from changing it.
Fear that it’s too late to make a change.
Fear that the new role won’t pay as much as the current one.
Fear that we’re not good enough.
Fear that our partner (or boss) may not be supportive.
Fear it’s not the ‘right time’ to make a change.
Fear of leading a team because we’ve never done it before.
Fear that our new workplace might not be as flexible as the one we have.
Fear of not knowing what it is that really makes us happy, because we’ve forgotten.
How do I know this? I’ve been there. It took me more than 4 years, 2 new jobs, 2 false starts, and finally 6 sessions with a coach to change careers.
The double-edged sword
On a basic level, fear is a natural emotion and survival mechanism that helps us respond to a perceived threat. It’s incredibly powerful and in healthy (read: small) doses, it motivates us to take action. It’s the thing that tells us to run from a dark alley late at night because we heard a noise that made us feel unsafe. But like everything else, it requires moderation.
An unhealthy fear response creates a kind of ongoing paralysis that prevents us from responding in healthy and helpful ways. Whether it be fight, flight, freeze or fawn, fear - and our over-loaded nervous system - can keep us stuck; stuck in an unsatisfying relationship, or stuck in the wrong job for us. Long-term, that means health impacts like cardiovascular issues, chronic pain, and gastrointestinal problems.
All this was great when we were running from Tasmanian Tigers and hiding out in caves. But our ancient brain and modern world means our brain treats a social threat and uncertainty with the same heightened state as a physical threat. And in our VUCA world where change and uncertainty are everywhere - it means our sympathetic nervous system is running constantly and consequently, we’re burning out and getting sick.
Our uncertain world compounds fear
These days our fear can be triggered by the uncertainty around our changing life circumstances in addition to the challenges at work. We’re buying homes later- if we can afford them at all. AI is being touted as both revolutionary for the world of work and a killer for job certainty. The price of food and other essentials are increasing exponentially, we’re having children later, and we’re working longer to pay off the increasing cost of it all - all with a lower super balance than what we need.
Because our brains constantly seek certainty and clarity, we’d much prefer the ‘devil we know’ and to stay where we are. It also means - because fear feels negative - that we’ll do almost anything we can to avoid feeing it. Like drink more alcohol than we’d like, or even deny that change is needed. At least the current situation, even if it sucks, is somewhat predictable…right? My question for you is this:
“What is the ultimate cost of staying where you are if you are experiencing burnout, a lack of emotional safety, with poor or no salary growth?”
The irony is that it’s through taking action that we can create our own certainty. While fear prevents action, action is a powerful antidote for fear.
“Progress doesn’t come from waiting for our circumstances to change. It comes from changing our circumstances.”
Adam Grant
Taking action
Telling ourselves we’re unable to make change is a story we tell ourself to excuse our inaction. It’s our brain keeping us safe, secure, and small. It minimises risk. it’s a very rare situation indeed where someone can’t change something, anything. Being realistic, we all have limitations and some are very real. Limitations however, can often be worked around with the right thinking. Anyone, no matter their imitations, can set goals around where they want to be, the conditions they want to work under, an ideal salary range, and a staged approach to get there. When the rest of the world is uncertain, we must create our own certainty. A plan is a mighty tool for empowerment.
Changing our thinking
How do we change our thinking, when it’s our thinking that got us here in the first place?
There are two recommendations I’m going to give you.
Firstly - get a good coach. Predictable but true. Change is hard because it requires us to think and act differently and humans are creatures of habit. We can’t get a different result by doing the same things, with the same knowledge, skills, and habituated thinking. It’s much easier and quicker to work with good people, particularly when that person is trained for this exact situation. There is also something incredibly liberating about realising none of us have all the answers - nor should we be expected to. Help, by its very definition, is helpful.
Secondly - treat your change as a project. We’re less inclined to make change if we consider it something to improve ourselves, and not for the greater good. Instead of seeing a career change (or any change) as a self-improvement project, what if you treated it like a work project?** Would you still take the same approach? Would you wait for something perfect and pre-packaged to come along, or would you start planning what success looked like? Would you stay unsure of the steps you’d take, or would you write a plan with goals, measures and milestones of success? Would you look to other professionals to fill skills gaps, or try to do it all yourself from scratch?
What would happen if you realised you weren’t disempowered, you just felt that way? What would happen if, in the immortal words of Susan Jeffers, you felt the fear and did it anyway?
Contact us for a free introductory coaching session to see if I can help you make your change.
** While you can view change as a ‘work project’, you can also view it as an investment in cheaper mental and physical healthcare, a promise to be a better partner, a project to reduce intergenerational trauma by being a happier and more present parent, and the opportunity to show your family that valuing yourself is a powerful way to make not just yourself happier - but those around you too.
